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Sela el Telak
memories
2003-05-06, 9:25 p.m.

Girly as it may seem her pictures bother me...it's like I'm being watched or something...

I was driving home the other day from work and right by the bridge in Anoka I noticed that I was driving through foam...it was really random and I am not sure where it was coming from but it was a good moment. I like "moments" you know they are never expected and they just strike you as being wonderful. Looking back I realized I have had quite a few moments in time that have adhered themselves to my memory banks and they will always be with me. Like the time I walked home with Benny in the cold, and the time Charlie first told me he loved me and I actually believed him. Like the time I walked home from Desirea's at 3am and finally understood the meaning of life. The time I stared at a boy while he played me a song and I just couldn't look away. The time I found the dead bunny in my backyard, and the only time I ever saw Jessica cry. Walking down railroad tracks in a different state and the first time I ever got high. Staring into Zack's eyes, staring into Charlie's eyes...feeling nothing but love. The first time I held my brother and the last time I ever saw Zack alive. Walking around a park with Janet and Erica and some boys who don't matter anymore. Walking with Benny, walking with many other people. Losing my virginity and the car ride home. Driving down my street at night...driving home from boy's houses. Being in a band and pretending like we didn't suck. Laying on the big red couch trying to teach a boy to kiss, the couch was the only good thing about him. Playing pool with Fez and dancing to the jukebox. My 17th birthday when everyone I loved came to see me. Going with Mindy to the SNDP and seeing Dillinger Four for the first time ever...then later driving out to Jordan, MN. Walking through the mall with Eric and taking pictures. Walking trough that same mall with Josh very very fucked out of my head on something and hugging him in the transit station for 15 minutes straight. My car on the night before thanksgiving when I let him break my heart even though I already knew. Taking pictures in the park with all my boys. The night at des's grandpa's house in the tent. The night at my cousin's...the night at Jordan's where I was so messed up I thought I slipped through time. The day out in the woods that I never told anyone about.

These are the memories that shaped my life...there are so many more but I am getting tired of remembering.

back - to the future

My wish list for 2007 - 2006-12-29
blueberry pancakes are lovely - 2006-12-17
karma may be dead, but irony isn't - 2006-11-11
I lived, I learned, it didn't help - 2006-09-09
valium please - 2005-09-01