I hate that after almost a year you can still bring me to tears...asshole! I hate that after all the shit you pulled I still want to call you and tell you about my day and tell you all my fun stories and get your opinion and have you reassure me when I get all paranoid about stuff that's really important to me. And what I hate most of all is that you don't get that. That when I used to say you were my best friend I meant that literally too. That when I lost you it hurt more to lose the friend part than the physical part. Fuck you for that...fuck you cause now you won't even listen anymore, now I don't even have you as a friend, which is all I wanted out of you.

On a completely different note.... I know I can be a bit strange sometimes, and I'm not going to apologize for that, but I will try to not bother you with it. I will try my very best to take things nice and slow and easy, no pressure, no hassle...ok. I like you and I really don't want to complicate things or scare you off so yeah like I said, nice and easy with no hassle...good times.

I have to be up in a couple hours to get my bonus check. I'm very excited to see how much I get, but when everything's said and done there's really only one reason I'm getting up that early in the morning....